The Nicholberry Dispatch

A special edition with a special request, and guest article by Zazie Todd

BOOK NEWS

I’ve been posting all of the Puppy Brain happenings over on Instagram, including the extraordinary launch in Carmel-by-the-Sea, our big Nicholberry party, and Zibby’s! My heart is bursting with gratitude and cannot believe that my book is finally out there in the world! Thank you for believing in this book and the difference it can make in the lives of dogs and their humans.

I have another big ask. Early reviews have a profound impact on how a book is positioned. Would you be willing to post yours on Amazon and/or Goodreads? It doesn’t need to be long or detailed. I’ll be grateful for whatever you can take the time to write!

EVENTS:

May 4^th La Jolla, CA   Happy Hour Signing and FRTD Fundraiser

It’s not too late to join us! 4-6pm oceanfront with a taco truck and dogs. What more could we want?

May 15^th Boston, MA Hummingbird Books with Adrienne Brodeur

I can’t believe how many of you are coming to this - it’s going to be so much fun to see my east coast friends! I wish we could do name tags with your Instagram handle. LOL.

May 21^st Dallas, TX Interabang Books 6pm

May 28^th Dinner, Q&A, and signing at a private residence in Belmont, CA - this is getting full! Email Jill@HappyWomenDinners.com for details

SOMETHING TO LEARN

Make an AI song

I have never attempted anything in AI until my son introduced me to ChatGPT. Then Tim Ferris posted about Suno and Udio and I shouldn’t tell you how much time I’ve spent creating songs about dogs. You’ll be surprised how easy it is. And fun!

SOMETHING TO CONSIDER

“Courage is fear that has said its prayers.” Anne Lamott 

SOMETHING TO LOVE

SOMETHING TO READ

Recently I posted an article by the ever so insightful Zazie Todd. After so many comments back from all of you, I asked her to guest write this week’s article. Here you go! (And thanks Zazie!)

Understanding what it’s like when your dog is reactive

Recently, my senior Shih Tzu had a specialist vet appointment. As we left the clinic and walked down the street back to our car, I saw a woman walking a little dog towards us. I was briefly hopeful that Pepper would get to make a new friend, but then I noticed the dog’s body language.

I steered Pepper to the outside edge of the wide sidewalk while the woman moved her little brown dog over to the inside. The dog barked, lunged, and growled as they went past, but the woman kept them moving and spoke nicely to her dog. It was over in an instant.

Pepper gets a little excited when growled at, which is reasonable, but he had walked by just fine. I gave him a treat, which he was expecting because he’s learned that anything stressful is always followed by treats.

It’s such a different experience at the ends of these two different leashes. On the one hand, you don’t have to worry because you know your dog is fine—but it helps the other party if you’re paying attention and keep your dog away. On the other hand, holding the leash of a dog who is reactive can feel very difficult. Even such a brief encounter can leave the dog, and person, feeling stressed for some time.

In a blog post earlier this year, mentioned recently by Kerry, I looked at some research on what it feels like to have a reactive dog. The people in that study were sometimes going to great lengths to help their dog to feel safe and to avoid putting them in a situation where they would react with growls and barks. These dedicated guardians were often walking in quiet places at quiet times of day, finding other activities to do with their dog, trying hard to keep other dogs away. All of this to protect the dog and their training, and still it felt hard.

Having a dog is an experience that includes difficult moments as well as wonderful ones. Culturally, it feels as though the good times are well known, but somehow we don’t talk enough about the hard times, maybe even blame the dog’s guardian for them instead of recognizing that most people are doing their best in difficult circumstances.

But there is a name we can apply to the feeling we get when those difficult times stack up: caregiver burden. For me, the most interesting part about that recent study of people with reactive dogs was to do with the range of emotions they felt. Of course, there were positive emotions, such as love for their dog and pride when the dog learns to cope, but there were plenty of negative emotions too such as stress and anxiety. For all its rewards, sometimes having a dog is hard.

I’m lucky because Pepper is great with other dogs. But I remember what it’s like to have a reactive dog, to always be looking for things that might be an issue and thinking about how to avoid them or keep away from them. It would really help people with reactive dogs if other people had more understanding, took care to keep their dogs away instead of letting them run up, and refrained from making rude comments.

If you see someone struggling with their dog or clearly trying to keep away from you, just give them a smile, put your dog on leash, and let them create the distance that they need. A little understanding goes a long way.